आपकी यादों के चादर तले
पड़ा रहा एक कोने में कहीं ,
करवटें उन दास्तानों ने ली ,
जो हमने आपके लिए छोडा था कहीं-
आप न आये ,झिन्झोरा हमने अपने आप को,
मेरे रूह से किसीने आवाज़ दी
के "एक साँस मेरी आज भी बाकी हैं"..

मौसम कितने मेहमान बने
इस दिल के खाली कोने में,
जो कोना हमने सजाया था
आपकी सर्द धुप चादर में,
उस नर्म ओओस की महक में,
वो रूहानी कोना आप का ही तो था,मगर आज देखो ,.....
वहाँ एक गुमनाम हवा बहती हैं,
कोहरे की आड़ में जो कहती हैं मुझे ,
के " एक सांस मेरी आज भी बाकी हैं" ....

क्या हमने आपको खोया,
या फिरमैं खोया आज भी हूँ आपकी उस नर्म चादर तले ,
जहाँ ज़िन्दगी की उदासभारी रोशन आलम में,
आपकी सांस गूंज जाती हैं-
जो एहीं आगाज़ देती हैं,
के " एक सांस मेरी आज भी बाकी हैं"...

इन्द्रजीत घोषाल..

11 Sonatas:

    Its great to see that you are giving your poetic skill to a new dimension,a very good ,sweet hindi poem to start with .Would be delighted to read a few more in Hindi .

     

    excellent......poem ws too good...utilisation of wrds to gv a different meaning dat is unusual ws fantastic.........bs kuch lines ko pd kr is sardi mein aur thandi lgne lgi...heehee...

     

    OMG!!!

    U r turning out to be a genious with words... with language no bar...

    won't be surprised if u serve a spanish poem next ;)

    grt as usual.

     

    I agree with your readers above ... you r a very good writer with language no bar ... you make readers feel the pulse of emotions thru words ...

    "मौसम कितने मेहमान बने,
    इस दिल के खाली कोने में,
    जो कोना हमने सजाया था,
    आपकी सर्द धुप चादर में," - the lines are fantastic and something that can be read again and again ..

    the poem is very good Inder but can I suggest one thing ... I am a little baffled by your use of punctuation. like for the above quoted lines do you really need a comma in the first and the third line ... the impact of the lines is even more when I read 1st two lines together and then the next two lines .. similarly for the rest of the poem.

    Alok

     

    u know, i dont understand hindi tht well, but i certainly can say, this was very beautifully written...

     

    inder sir i m not that good with poetry but i can say thats tooo gud and added one more dimension to ur poetric skills you are gr8 with words you know how to play with them its awsome the all i can say....... way to go sir...

     

    indrajit....your poem is excellent....beautifully writtn....would be delighted to find more from you....all the best.

     

    bahut badiya...kya baat hai...apka ka ek ek labz dil ko chu jate hai...beautiful lines!

     

    ...i was just passing by.....

     

    hmmm... d poem is so beautiful that it inspired me to write this:
    ek sans meri aaj bhi baki hai
    jo mujhse na jane kya kuch kaha jati hai.
    main kho jati hoon us narm chader tale
    jahaan ek awaaz aaj bhi gunj jati hai.

    jo kona maine sajaya tha
    un yaadon ki tasveeron se
    woh aaj bhi lipti rahati hai
    gire os ki mahak se.

    kitne mausam beet chuke hai
    kitne saawan barse hai.
    lamha lamha kitna ye dil
    baras baras ke tarsa hai.

    mahasus kiya hai pal pal phir bhi
    kabhi kabhi us kone mein-
    "koi khoi parchai jaise mujhe
    aaj bhi chu jaati hi".


    bus yuhi...kuch likhne ka mann kar raha tha ..he he :P :D

    TAKE CARE
    :) :) :)

     

    hindi ke kuch shabd jo seeedhe rooh ko chute hain..brilliant piece of work!!

     

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